As the pandemic rolls on and I continue to spend more time social distancing and quarantining in my house with my husband and pup, I have been meditating on the gift of unplanned time that this moment has given to me. Yes, of course, I want the pandemic to be over and to be able to leave my house and see my parents, grandmother, and friends again; however, until it is safe for us to be together physically, I am committed to staying apart. Luckily, I am pretty introverted and I love alone time, so I was able to quickly find this slightest of silver linings that came with self-quarantining.
I’ve intentionally tried to use my newfound abundance of solo time to think and really grapple with some of my personal habits, including my self-care routine, to determine whether or not they still work for me and if I can point to how I even picked up such habits in the first place.
After sitting with this intention for a while, I realized that one of the biggest ways that I practice self-care is by engaging in “treat yourself” capitalist consumerist culture, which actually does not sit well with me and my social justice values of community and inclusion or my yogic and spiritual values, which remind me that we already have all that we need inside of us. Admittedly, I’ve literally bought into the culturally appropriated version of self-care, which markets goods and trinkets at me and seductively whispers in my ear that buying something, like a new sweater, will help me achieve mental clarity and well-being. Upon further personal investigation, I’m actually torn about whether or not I should try to completely stop this practice or whether it is okay to treat myself with consumer goods in moderation, especially if I am supporting Black businesses or socially conscious charities.
Nevertheless, what I do know is that I am committed to rethinking the monetary component of my self-care regimen because buying a sweater does not actually make me more mentally healthy, at least in the long run, and if I am truly committed to Audre Lorde’s vision of the kind of self-care that is particularly political and revolutionary, I must try to disentangle my search for mental health and clarity from capitalistic consumerism.
If you’re interested in taking this journey with me, I invite you to try some of the following ways that I’ve found to treat myself without spending much money:
1. Reclaiming and reorganizing my time
I am not a fan of running around or rushing to complete tasks. I hate capitalism telling me that if I’m not rushing to complete tasks, then I’m being lazy and unproductive. It’s taken me 32 years to realize that I don’t actually like multitasking—even though I’m great at it—because it brings me very little joy and actually adds a ton of stress. So, for the past five months, I’ve been treating myself to some amount of control over one of humanity’s ultimate nemeses: time. I’ve been following Auntie Maxine’s mantra and “reclaiming my time” in all aspects of my life. For one, I’ve been practicing mindfulness and enjoying one treat at a time, which is extremely hard for me as a programmed multitasker.
I often used to do my hair-care regimen while painting my toenails, at the same time that I watched a movie at home with my husband. I think I picked up this habit from romantic comedies and their ubiquitous Friday-night chill-session imagery. It’s taken me a long time to realize that combining each of these activities, while efficient, actually doesn’t allow me to fully enjoy each one individually and instead makes me feel rushed, which is the opposite of treating myself. I’m working on readjusting and only indulging in one treat at a time.
2. Napping
Ahhh, the joys of napping! This has to be my favorite self-care treat. I try to take a nap without an alarm every single day because it allows me to turn off my sense of sight—which is my most overstimulated sense—and just simply breathe and be and literally dream. For me, napping is like getting two days in one because when I wake up, I’m recharged and I feel like I can conquer anything. I highly suggest cuddling up for a nap with a furry or human friend if touch is one of your love languages.
3. Just being outside
You don’t always need to go on an official nature hike or white-water rafting to reap the benefits of just being outside. For instance, I remember being a kid and loving to be outside and doing nothing at all but playing and dreaming. I would wander around the yard looking at rocks, watching birds fly and squirrels quarrel over nuts, without a care in the world. In my yard I felt safe and sound and a part of nature in a way that you can’t fully experience indoors. I’m reclaiming this practice as an adult. While my yard is a lot smaller now than my parents’ yard when I was a kid, I can still sit and enjoy and be a part of the life happening all around me—life that does not care about capitalistic constraints like money. I implore you to treat yourself and just go outside to simply be and be open to the lessons that nature wants to teach you.
4. Journaling and creative writing
I love to write. I have been conjuring characters and stories in my head since I was a little kid and it has always brought me much joy, but as I have gotten older and gone through rigorous academic and professional programs, too much of my writing has become just another aspect of my work, rather than just something I do for fun. Now I am treating myself to creative writing time when I am writing whatever I want without trying to cater to an audience or to look for some kind of approval from others. I’m creatively writing for myself. I encourage you to treat yourself to engaging in your passions without concerning yourself with what others may think. It’s incredibly freeing and a direct dismantlement of the capitalistic work-to-achieve culture.
5. Making money moves
This last treat may seem out of place in a list about how to treat yourself without spending much money, but hear me out. Instead of spending money on goods to make me happy, I’m simply taking one day a month to manually move money from my checking account to my savings account to pay for future plans like having kids and very-far-in-the-future experiences like taking my parents to Africa. It’s like my personal reparations savings plan, and I know that my future self will thank me.
So go ahead—treat yourself and save now so that later you might be able to experience more of what you want out of life. What a delight that would be!
